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 Suicidal? Please Read.

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Number of posts : 50
Age : 33
Location : France,Pairis

PostSubject: Suicidal? Please Read.   Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:35 am

Here's a good read to anyone whose feeling really down in the dumps.
It has come from a few sites and explains how to deal with suicidal feelings.
I'm going to copy and paste it for you:

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only
take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am
not a therapist or other mental health professional- only someone who knows
what it is like to be in pain.

I don’t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for
the moment, you’re reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here
because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible,
I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk,
face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to
make do with this.

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have
some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be
up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are
together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things
I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you
should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you
feel pretty bad.

Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with
me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit
unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end
your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair.
Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still
alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that
even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to
live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start by considering this statement:

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for
coping with pain.”

That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed,
because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die
- it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now.
If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add
enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing.
(That’s why it’s useless for someone to say to you, “cheer up!” - of course
you would, if you could.)

Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about”.
There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the
pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable
to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain
becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have.
Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result.
Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally
neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus
coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things:
(1) find a way to reduce your pain,
or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

1 You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as
badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you
are going to live. I hope that this information
gives you some sense of hope.

2 Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do
anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things
- just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually
do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal
action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by
reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page.
Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment,
acting on it. That is very
encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

3 People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain.
Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel
the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

4 Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened,
or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their
intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad
reactions are about their fears, not about you. But there are people out there who can
be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you
to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for
you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone
what’s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

Send an e-mail to The Samaritans
Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S or 911, 0800 Youthline in NZ or 111 in New Zealand
Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
Call a psychotherapist
Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen.
But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone.
Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the
pressure, and it might be just the additional
coping resource you need to regain your balance.

5 Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside,
you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea.
So are the various self-help groups available both in your community
and on the Internet and various online services.

Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad.

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should
reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a
coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that
the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain.
So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they
outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping
resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find
someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how
you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one.
Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of
people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking
around for one of them.

Now: I’d like you to call someone.

And while you’re at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out sources
of online help. Do a search. Get help.

"What if Tomorrow, What if today, Faced with the question,
What would you say?" MWS

Lord, lead me from the darkness of my own making,
for Your love never fails.

Never fight with an idiot. They'll pull you down to their level,
and then beat you with experience.

Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.
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Number of posts : 50
Age : 33
Location : France,Pairis

PostSubject: Re: Suicidal? Please Read.   Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:36 am

Here's a "letter", that a man wrote to the teens out there who are considering suicide.

Dear Teen,

So many of us from time to time have thought about suicide. Like it's the only possible
answer to get through the pain. To end it. I have hated myself sometimes too - though
I am no longer a teen, I remember and am not afraid to admit it. Sometimes it all looks
so ugly - so awful, and it feels like there is nothing you can do about anything. All the little
cuts add up to one big cut and you try to keep it hid from everyone. Especially the ones
who would laugh at you. You know they hurt too, in a different way. It hurts to hate anyone,
and it sux to keep your feelings silent. Your heart is probably breaking so you probably
don't hate anyone more than yourself right now.

I know - I feel that way sometimes too. You know how big storms come, and the wind
sometimes comes in and blows all day long - well this whole thing will seem a lot like that
right now but all storms end. It isn't worth dying for, though it is so true that sometimes it
FEELS like it. Has anyone ever told you that at this point in your life your a big ball of string
tied up really tight with a lot of loose ends that look like they go off into different directions
- and none of them you are sure about.

You know that even with really strong glasses, or with the most powerful telescopes we
can't see very far, and even when we see way - way out there - we only look into the past,
and long before anything mattered. So what matters? YOU DO! You see, contrary to popular
opinion you are so special that there is nobody else in the whole universe just like you.
There are no two snowflakes exactly the same, and no two flowers even. Though this storm
you might be going through keeps coming back this day and that day, there is a good reason
to get through it, and there are people who don't want you to go. I know it is hard to talk with
a "parent" but you would be so surprised how they might really understand. It's hard for them
to read your mind most of the time. If you really think you can't talk to them, please
write to me, and I'll listen.

There is a little spark of light always shining no matter how dark it gets and there is an enemy
we all have who would like to see us hurt ourselves and give up because he doesn't have
any hope at all. I'd be willing to bet that you would be very surprised to know how much
help there is when you really need it. You see, I need your help too because I'm hurting
sometimes. YOU are the future! You are like stars that are not yet hung in the sky. You see,
the way things work here in this world - is through people. The rod that Moses used to part
the Red Sea didn't hold itself up.

Life is not easy - it is so true! It seems like something always goes wrong, and the people
that seem like they have it all going for them also have hurts piling up inside. But you’re
doing good to just be feeling! YOUR ALIVE! and your feelings remind you that your living.
If you could see life like a big puzzle, and you went away - there is one piece that can
never be put in that place, and each piece connects to all the other pieces. Man, when
there are so many thoughts in our head and a lot of them you can pull towards you -
if you pull the ones that hurt you deeper and then pull some more after those, pretty
soon your feeling so bad that it seems like there is no hope! It works like a camera
that gets little bit of stuff on the lens and then some more and more stuff and before
you know it you can't see clearly enough through it to know what your seeing.

Thoughts in our head work exactly the same way. SO PLEASE DON'T DO IT! Don't let it all
pile up so much. There are people who will listen to you (I will for one - write to me and
I'll listen). Grandma's and Grandpa's are good at that too - they've lived through a zillion storms!
That is how they got so wrinkled. God will listen, and will certainly come to your rescue,
it makes Him sad, because he knows when our heart is breaking better than anyone, and
he is always very close to you - a mere word away! There is a lot of really magical stuff that
can happen when we open our mouth and speak, and HELP still works the best. You say
that word outloud, and the heavens will open for you, God will part that terrible sea in front of
you, and you will find a path that leads to a new horizon.

Remember that a day is coming when "God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes;
and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be anymore
pain: for the former things are passed away." (Rev. 21:4).

Young woman, young man of God (yes you) - your smile looks like the sun breaking through
huge puffy black clouds that can hardly hold themselves up
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